Day 8: Las Vegas

12pm Saturday, July 19 - 4am Sunday, July 20


The Big Day started earlier than one might like - particularly if one had been up until 9am the night before. John and Dan descended upon my hotel room around 1pm, for some last-minute ironing. (It also freed John & Leslie's room for the no-doubt complicated Bride Assembly Process, but I'm just guessing here.) While Dan (and Jill) attempted to make John presentable, I took a quick walk out to my car to get John's rental shoes. Luckily, I was able to find the car all by myself, having been awake when I parked it last.

By this point it was 1:40pm, and we were Running A Little Late for the 2pm start time. I was charged with distributing the gold-heart-with-chocolate-coin thingys, and setting up the state-of-the-art sound system. John and the rest of them went of and did pre-wedding activities of some sort.

As for the wedding itself: what's to say? You were probably there. John mostly remembered his vows, and Leslie appeared to know hers, not that you could hear her or anything. (It's probably considered In Poor Taste to yell "speak up!" at the bride. Being an ever-tasteful bunch, nobody did.) Leslie also accidentally took John's first name as well, but you probably caught that.

That said, on with some Exciting Wedding-Related Photos!

Here's a shot of the post-wedding facility (was that the reception, or was the thing at Caesar's the reception?), before the hordes descended upon it. We'll have photos of the hordes shortly. Just look at how lovingly those heart-thingys have been deployed!

Dan: if not the best man, was certainly the best-dressed man .

The ever-popular (and somewhat over-exposed) Pat "Beebo" Barron , looking sharp!

The bride and groom, beating a hasty retreat to the soulful sounds of "Last Night" by the Mar-Keys.

Dave, kickin' it with the ladies . Though they appear to be ignoring him.

Ed and Mike , kickin' it with no one in particular.

Mark, chatting it up with The Kirchheimers .

The Litwacks , standing around.

The Bride makes an entrance .

Dueling photographers .

The happy couple , greeted by thunderous applause.

Leslie - all kneel before the power of the dress !

Relief, or dementia?

John, Leslie, and her mom .

"Everybody out front for the posed wedding pictures!"

Ma & Pa Hagan, and the future Ma & Pa Hagan .

"I said, everyone out front for the posed wedding pictures, dammit!"

"Thank you, that's better!"

Let's get those last few stragglers (and the pesky photographer) into the shot...

Ladies and gentleman, The Electric Fish , the hardest working band, well, in this photo.

Then the acid kicked in.

Anybody who knows Ed knows he wouldn't be the one holding Hallie's knees...

The Tech Crew (and honorary member Leslie) .

John, Leslie, Dave, Patty, & Barbara .

Add in a couple more Hagan's...

Leslie & Tru .

Ed & Sharon .

Mike Ward - dynamic lead vocalist for The Electric Fish.

And Diane Ward , his dynamic wife.

Hallie, apparently in the middle of doing an Elvis impression .

(Editor's note: If you have an insatiable need for wedding pictures, there more to be found on rolls 08 and 09.)


The post-wedding reception broke up around 4pm, and folks went their separate ways. Presumably most went to change out of their uncomfortable Wedding-Going Clothes, and into more pleasant Walking-Around-Vegas Clothes. I, being bored (and roped into carrying stuff), followed the Hagans back to their room, where they had a much better view .

They demonstrated a novel solution to the red-eye photographic problem, which apparently started a new fashion trend .

Later that evening, we all reconvened at Caesar's Palace for a lovely dinner. While wandering over to Caesar's, I noticed that they had several of these . I can only assume the reasoning went something like: "Hey, a sphinx is nice, but a sphinx with tits, now you're talking!"

After dinner, we split up into small discussion groups. I hooked up with Ed & Sharon, Jack & Tru, and Dave, Patty and Barbara, and set out for a swinging night on the town. Our first stop was Bally's, where we completely failed to get Penn & Teller tickets. When that didn't work out, Ed split of to go do something or other. The rest of us walked over to the MGM Grand to try to purchase some "EFX" tickets. That mission was successful, though the show didn't start until much later that evening. Ed caught back up with us, and we passed the time by hanging out in MGM's Sports Betting area.

(Travel Tip: If you want to pass some time in a casino without necessarily spending any money, head for the Sports Betting areas. At the casinos I saw, they were uniformly quiet, uncrowded, and fairly pleasant places to be. Most of them were showing sporting events big-screen TVs, as well.)

Anyway, we saw EFX, which is MGM's big in-house stage show. "Starring David Cassidy!", as if that's a feature. The show convinced me that Las Vegas is the bastard child of Texas and LA. My reasoning: Vegas combines the mindless glitz of Hollywood (but without as much talent), with the Texan's penchant for excess. "If 50 scantily-clad dancers are good, 100 will be Even Better!", you can well imagine the show's producer reasoning.

Not that the show was bad... I'm glad I saw it, because there's nowhere else to see a spectacle quite like this. ($45M stage productions aren't exactly common!) Parts of the show were entertaining, other parts were pointless, and the whole thing was tied together with a lame-ass excuse for a plot. ("Journey into the Imagination" my ass! That's just another way of saying "here's some neat stuff, enjoy.")

Still, it successfully kept us occupied for a two-hour timespan, so it could be argued that it fulfilled its ultimate purpose. Also, the show has the side benefit of keeping David Cassidy occupied, so he'll presumably be too busy to make a "back-from-the-dead" return to network television anytime soon.


After the show, Ed, Sharon, Jack, Tru, and Barbara went back to the hotel to sleep, or whatever, freeing Dave, Patty, and myself to see the sights. Here's some of them:

New York, New York by night.

The Excalibur . Huzzah!

Inside the Luxor Pyramid . Couldn't take an exterior shot of the Luxor at night - it's a stealth hotel, virtually invisible after dark. While it's not the nicest place in town, it is architecturally interesting, what with being a pyramid and all that. The outer walls of the pyramid are one hotel-room thick. There are hallway/balconies on each floor that let you get to the rooms, but also look out into the hollow center of the pyramid. Finally, there are 'inclinators', elevators that travel up at a 39° angle, in each of the four vertices of the pyramid. Pity it all feels kinda cheap.

One larger-than-you-normally-see Coca-Cola bottle .

The Holiday Inn Boardwalk Casino . Spiffy looking, but it's all a cheap facade. For one thing, the roller coaster and other amusements are just 3/4 scale fakes. You can't ride them, unlike the real roller coaster at New York, New York. Also, as you can just tell by the sign, the place appeals to the bottom-feeders of the Vegas strip. You know, the 99-cent margarita crowd. Not for me. (And is $4.69 really a good price for 'Hobo Stew'? I don't know; I've never heard of such a thing. Whatever it is, it does not sound appetizing. Hobo's aren't exactly known for their fine cuisine.)

Bally's . A neat entranceway - all these pillars are made out of a semi-translucent plastic, and there are colored lights inside. The whole thing slowly cycles through the color spectrum.

The Barbary Coast , as seen in the opening credits to the old "Vega$" TV series, or so I'm told.

Dave & Patty , standing in front of The Mirage's waterfalls.

At that point (3am) we had walked back to Treasure Island, and Dave went upstairs to get some sleep. Patty, (who, in my opinion, Kicks Ass), was the only one of our group left by this point, and she agreed to score some breakfast with me before calling it a night. (Unlike all those so-called 'men' on the Bachelor Party trip. :-) )


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Last updated: 10/09/00